Blackstone, the real Aphrodisiac

It has been common folklore that oysters are a great aphrodisiac. Well, I've found something 95,000 times more potent ($38B/$400k) . The Black Stone!

Blackstone recently floated 12.3% of its management partnership shares that resulted in the sixth richest initial public offering in US history. Initially priced @ $31.00, BX shares closed up $4.06 or 13.1 per cent to $35.06. (If you're even thinking about investing in BX or the like, I advise you to read Marc's blog here.) That's a $38B market cap OVERNIGHT!

Now if this stone doesn't get you rock hard, I don't know what will! Having Caribbean roots, I've heard all the rumors about the Black Stone. Rub on a little Black Stone on your head and BAM! ..........................you're the energizer bunny!!! No need for the little blue pills.

Scientists attribute the stone's prolonged stimulation to the bufotenine, bufadienolides resibufogenin, bufalin and.........a bunch of other "stuff" found in the potent stone.

I think the scientists have gotten it all wrong. You don't have to rub your head with any black stones to get excited. All you need to do rub elbows with some Blackstones. Here is one Blackstone I'd like to meet: Stephen Schwarzman.

His Stats:

• 2006 Net worth - $3.5B (73rd richest American in '06)
• 2006 Salary - $398M
• Initial $400k investment (1/2 his own money) now worth ~$38B (That's a 95,000 bagger!)
• Could collect ~$677M from the IPO proceeds alone
• After IPO, still owns 24% of Blackstone (valued at ~$7.7B)
• Owns a $30M Manhattan co-op at 740 Park
• Personal chef often spends $3,000 for a weekend of food for him and the wife, including stone crabs that cost $400, or $40 per claw.
• Birthday party and guestlist that Diddy could only dream of (maybe next time P.D.)
  
  
  (Get all the Stats on "The Golden Ass" from Daniel Gross at Slate.)
  

As you can tell, I'm aroused. Matter of fact, I'm going to have to cut this post short and get back to work. Any more research on the Black Stone and I'm liable to burst a vein. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (WGCT!)

If anyone has any suggestions for battling my Priapism, please send some remedies or gift me some BX shares for my future children's trusts.

Requiem for a Pistol (to shoot MSFT in the helmet)

"Why did Live have to f*ck with my Halo?"

Is it any wonder why MSFT is losing the gaming battle? Why would you alienate your lead users? The people who test your product before the general public gets upset with bugs. The people who push your technology to the limit and help you build a better product? The people who spread the gospel to the world (FREE of CHARGE)?

I can understand employing the regimented approach with their bread and butter corporate community....you know....word, excel, power point, and all the other tools "required" for corporate productivity. But an XBOX? How the hell can Microsoft beat Sony with superb business decisions like this?


Joe Gamer: "You are RUINING THE LITTLE RESPECT YOU HAVE LEFT!"

Rule number 1: The gaming market is not the corporate productivity software market. Don't fight the gamer!

Like most diehard gamers I was one of the first guys on the original Xbox band wagon. I opened the box and played the only game that came with my console, Halo. At that exact moment, I was a true Xbox believer. I never bought another game for the first 2 years and played Halo until my eyes were bloodshot red. It was a problem...(or so my therapist said). If you've never played the original Halo, you've not a gamer..matter of fact....you've never played a video game.

Halo completely revolutionized the gaming market!
(Microsoft even bought Bungie because of this one game's success!)

The game was so enthralling.....we had to play more often, we had to play better people, we had to play online. However, MSFT did not support playing online. So what did we do.....we modded our xbox with chameleon chips and connected our boxes manually. This was before Gamespy or any other peer to peer gaming site. No slick user interface, not maps, not chat, you had to connect your xbox to your pc and use a linux boot-up disc to find other IPs that wanted to join your game. To "chat" you had to use another PC to find gamers/hosts on ICQ before you booted up the game. (Shout out to the Motley's, J and X! First on the block to make it happen.)

Now that I think about it, it was quite archaic, but it worked. We were playing Hang 'em High with people from all over the world. Even with the lag and hosting advantage (early Halo players know what I'm talking about) it was a revolutionary experience. I was playing a game at home...on a console...connected to the internet...talking $hit to some guys in Canada!

The community that evolved was ridiculous. Clans were forming, challenges were made, and LAN parties were popping up all over. People were doing ridiculous things in the games....things the game designers never even knew were possible. It was a great time for Xbox's penetration into the PlayStation market share. People were not buying Xbox for Xbox, we all wanted to play Halo!

All of the early Xbox innovations came from gamers taking the Xbox to the limit. Adding a hard drive, adding software to manage files, creating a multi media player, making it wireless.....all this stuff was out before MSFT even thought about building it. How could that be? You can't fight the gamer! Instead of fighting, MSFT should embrace innovation and let people build the product/games they want.

So what does MSFT do. They "steal" all of the innovation from "hackers" and incorporate it into the new and improved Xbox 360. The 360 launch was combined with the release of Halo 2. Boy was I was ready! I had my eBay auction ready (no time to stand in line) and paid ~$750 to be the first to play Halo 2. What a disappointment!

Not only did they kill the game with the bs maps and weapons (no more pistol shots); they completely bastardized the Live experience by commercializing some functionality and removing others. On top of that, MSFT was telling me that I had to PAY to play with other people. GTFOH! I just paid 2x retail for the game and console, I pay $150/month for high-speed internet and MSFT wants me to pay for Live! That's like AOL trying to get me to pay for a inferior browser. Ha!

I have not played my Xbox 360 since.

Why all this background info? It's simple. MSFT had the best thing going for them. Huge penetration into Sony's market, great staple game in Halo, avid die-hard gamers, and a great user generated road map for success. By abandoning the early adopters, MSFT managed to destroy most of the value that was was created......in record time.

Don't take my word for it. Ask any "former" Halo player what they think of MSFT and Xbox Live now?

Microsoft may have dropped the ball in gaming.....good thing they are dominating Google and others on the search front, the ad front, the web application front, the recruiting front, the video front, the social networking front, the it's cool to be a geek front, the wall street growth story front.........help! I'm running out of fronts....Ha!

Just watch this video and Halo-Union will rap to you why Xbox Live is dead. (Lyrics!)

MySpace for $12B: The 21st century Farabuttos

Seriously, these numbers are starting to get really ridiculous. Is Yahoo! really contemplating a deal to buy MySpace for $12B? All this mis/disinformation has the market confused. I mean.....even the talks about MSFT buying Yahoo! are resurfacing. Anything to stay in the news........amazing!

You even have some analysts going in the completely opposite direction expecting Yahoo! to divest its valuable web properties. In one day's time, Jerry's little headache has mushroomed into a full blow migraine.

"He didn't function as chief Yahoo, so why would you think he will succeed as CEO?" said Global Equities Research analyst Trip Chowdhry. "They already missed the boat and, in the Internet space, there are no second chances."

The doubters have already started swinging the axe. Honestly, this is a great bschool case study in the making. I'm sure there are some HBS professors licking their chops with versions A, B, C, and D already written. What are Yahoo!'s options when going against Google?

Hirer smarter people.....KO, GOOG.
Spend more money....KO, GOOG.
Develop better applications.....TKO, GOOG.
Focus on search.....Arm Bar, Yahoo! taps out.
Execute better acquisitions......(I guess you have to buy someone first)....No Contest.
Re-evaluate the entire business strategy......(Now McKinsey is licking their chops. I can see the fees already!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$)

Jerry, if I were you, I would lobby for some serious stock options. You can't ask for a big salary...that was Semel's downfall. Get those options, get that stock price up to $50 like the street wants/needs and get the hell out of Dodge. The Street.....that's the real problem. In order to fix the mess, you have to be content with letting the stock hang for at least a year. Is the world that patient? I doubt it. Look what happened on your first day in the office. I'd hate/love to be in your shoes.

Now back to the $12B MySpace quagmire. Even if the number was real, does Jerry have those two things that are required to pull the trigger? Who does? No deal, then you've missed the boat yet again. Deal, then you've substantially over paid. It's a no win situation.

My 2 cents.........If the internet was invented in the 1830's, then the Farabuttos would have been PHP programmers, not tailors. As such, they would be peddling beautiful social networks with the "wonderful quality of being invisible to any man who was unfit for his office or unpardonably stupid."

If my memory servers me correctly, a Stanford degree wasn't required to figure this one out?

Do you Semel what the rock is cooking?

What ever it is, I'm not touching it. If the stock pops after this announcement (ooops too late), that's a sucker's bet (shorts, they are making this too easy).

Is Terry the problem? I don't think so. Blame it on the CEO if that makes you feel better. There is a laundry list of reasons why this should have happened, however we all knew this was inevitable. And as a semi strong market efficiency guy, the stock trading at $29+ is a mirage to me. Does Yahoo fundamentally change? No.

Same people. Same ideas. Same execution. Only difference.......they are now missing the scapegoat. So the next deal Yahoo passes on or the next hiccup ..........and the stock is going to get hit hard.

And now Jerry is coming out of retirement. I can't say that's a surprise. Again, how does the stock pop $2.00 (on a $27 close) with this news? Who else would be interim CEO? Shouldn't you factor in the risk associated with a former founder repeating the improbable? What are those odds?



Can't wait to see the next Roody Poo blamed for Yahoo's poor performance. Then again, you never know. I mean if money can facilitate this transformation, Yahoo may be in great shape!

BLOCKSAVVY: Attack of the Clones

He's back at it! Humbled hip hop mogul, Damon Dash, is trying his arm as a tech entrepreneur with his MySpace clone, BlockSavvy. Now..........I'm somewhat conflicted. On one hand, I love Dame's attitude. He's a go getter for real! Super Super-ego, extraordinary creativity, mega street smarts, and the corporate swagger to make things happen.



However, "you're only as good as your last trade". Let's take a look down memory lane and review his track record.

Roc-A-Fella Records (Dec. 04): Sells for $10M (plus $22M contract reup) to Island Def Jam Records. Good money! Although, Dame only gets 1/3 or ~$10M.

RocaWear (Sept. 05): Sells to Jay-Z for $30M. Good money, but it's gotta hurt to sell your shares to your ex-partner! Especially when Jay turns around in March 07 and sells RocaWear for $204M. I'd be pi$$ed!!

Pro-Keds: Did a respectable ~$22M last year.

(This is where is starts to get ugly.)

Damon Dash Music Group: Done! (At least the website still works.) Why is it done? Because the "music business isn't so profitable". It took Dame 10+ years to figure that out?

Dash's C.E.O. clothing line: Hasn't launched yet. Apparently, the logo is too big and even a buyer for Dr. Jay's sent Dame back to the drawing board. Done!

State Property clothing line: Beanie Sigel's line. Nuff said. Done!

Wife Rachel Roy's clothing line: Less than Dash-ing! Not profitable, done!

Dash-DiBella Promotions: I told you before, boxing is dead....with or without Dame. Done!

Reality TV show, The Ultimate Hustler: I can't hate. I personally hand delivered my audition tape to Dame outside of 105.1's radio station, but that's another story. Anyway, his loss. Good thing I didn't make it. Poor ratings, horrible reviews, little creativity, low value......done!

Dash Films: No website.......you don't exist. I don't care if you did The Woodsman starring Kevin Bacon and Mos Def. That was 2004 and I'm not sure how many people have seen or heard of the movie. Done.

America Magazine: It's here, but takes me to The National Catholic Weekly. Maybe Dame has a new religious hustle. Say it with me........DONE!

Tiret watch: Well, at least Michael Jackson is forking over $87k for a watch. If only everyone was like Mike.

Armadale Vodka: Well, I've never seen anyone pop a bottle of Aramdale in the club. Having said that, it did get a good review. Jury is still out.

So that brings me to BlockSavvy. Even after all the failures, this has some hope. Now, I HATE clones. Especially clones that have not one iota of originality. Blocksavvy is different. It has a specific niche audience (young, "urban") and has applications that cater to their specific needs.

I signed up and was pleasantly surprised with the richness of the graphics (3D rendered) as well as as slick interface and ease of use. It's based on the .Net platform, but it's Dame's first tech startup. He doesn't know any better.

Anyway, I really like the fact that users earn SavvyDollars for interacting with the site and with the community. These SavvyDollars can be used to purchase actual items.....items that reflect the niche audience's interests and needs. To me, this is the key to Web 2.0 (I hate myself for using that term).

Is Blocksavvy going to sell for $580M like MySpace.....absolutely not. But Dame only has ~$1M into the project and hopes to make 10x. In the current capital market climate, that shouldn't be hard at all.

"I'll be validated in technology. People will have to notice me." - Damon Dash

Slow your roll. Damon, even if you do sell for $20M....that does not make you a tech genius. Good start, but a Mark Zuckerberg you are not. (Damn, it hurts me to say that).

No laughing matter, Johnnie Morton knocked out by a standup comedian

What would happen if an ex-NFL star fought a stand-up comedian in Mixed Martial Arts?

He would get...........knocked, the f*ck out!

Former NFL receiver Johnnie Morton was knocked out less than a minute into his first professional mixed martial arts bout, then was suspended from the sport for refusing to take a drug test.

Wait just a damn minute. You mean to tell me the Johnnie Morton who played 13 years in the NFL. Not that Johnnie Morton. But he's really cut and looks like he's in great shape. I thought he was model too. He's a fighter? I'll be damned if I let a comedian beat my ass.....in my home town....in my own stadium! Johnnie....after getting aired out you then refused to take a drug test? Is it that bad? You should have just closed your eyes and pretended he was Matt Millen.

You know what......I would have refused a drug test too. How stupid would you look if you used some clear and some cream and still got pummeled.......BY A STANDUP COMEDIAN. HA! This $hit IS too funny!
And his name is BERNARD! Ha!
And he's a STANDUP COMEDIAN.......................LMAO!!!

I thought you were friends with "Rampage"......Quinton c'mon.....help your boy out. Get him some proper training. This looked horrible. I don't think we're going to see Johnnie in the ring again. Johnnie was even trying to get Priest Holmes to jump on the MMA bandwagon. Priest, JUST SAY NO! I guess the rumors are true.....Johnnie is going to have to go back to playing for the Lions.

For all those thinking it....STOP! Please do NOT compare bush league MMA fights to the UFC! I don't care how many touchdowns you've scored. Or how much you can bench. Or what your 40 time may be.

If you don't know what you're doing, get the f*ck out of the ring.

# 84 Johnnie Morton
	Position: WR Height: 6-0 Weight: 193 Born: 10/07/1971 College: Southern California NFL Experience: 13

Yes, Rampage has lost (BADLY)

For everyone who has been constantly emailing me about "Rampage", I decided to post three fights in which "Rampage" lost...........BADLY!

This was earlier in his career. Here are his last 3 losses. He lost to Wanderlei "the Axe Murderer" Silva in the same tournament where he beat Chuck (the first time) and in a subsequent title fight (the rematch). Rampage took several knees to the head......OUCH! You can see that Rampage kept getting up too fast and could not defend himself (signs of an amateur fighter). In the rematch, it was a battle. Rampage showed great improvement, but got tired and dropped his hands. Silva hit him on the chin, then followed up with those ridiculous knees.....knocked him out cold.

You heard it here first! Let him fight Wanderlei again and see what happens.

Then he fought Murilo Rua and won the fight by decision (even though he admitted in the ring that he really should have lost and didn't want the trophy). The next fight was against Murilo's little brother, Mauricio. Watch the clip.....he's not that little. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua beat Rampage down. No excuses here. Let's see what Shogun does in 2008 if/when they meet again.

Loss	Mauricio Rua	TKO	PRIDE Total Elimination 2005	4/23/2005	1	4:47
Win	Murilo Rua	Decision	PRIDE 29-Fists of Fire 2005	2/20/2005	3	5:00
Loss	Wanderlei Silva	KO	PRIDE 28-High Octane	10/31/2004	2	3:26	Middleweight Title Match

The good news.......Mauricio "Shogun" Rua is now in the UFC. And it is rumored that Wanderlei Silva is coming to the UFC too. This makes the potential hype for the 205lb. weight class ridiculous. Along with D. Henderson the current Pride champion, the UFC is poised to have the most exciting light heavy weight fights EVER!

Fight with W. Silva (#1):


Fight with W. Silva (#2) REMATCH:


Fight with "Shogun":

Explain this to your boss

At 4:40 a.m. in the morning Gilberto Cantu, a truck driver from Texas, approached the New Jersey entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel and drove his 13 feet 6 inches high big rig (loaded with bathtubs, toilets and plumbing fixtures) into the tunnel that has a height limit of 13 feet. Do I really need to tell you what happened next? (Obviously I don't because you can see the leftover remains above).

Gilberto, you really have some explaining to do. You've been driving a truck for a while, but let's suppose you were a first time driver. You drove from Texas to NJ, so you had at least 1,762 miles (about 1 day 4 hours) to practice. I'm sure you have a CDL and at one point in time have read the entire handbook.................but let's suppose you forgot tunnel safety procedures. Let's try and come up with a plausible explanation for your boss and how such a seemingly ridiculous "accident" is even possible. I'm under the assumption you're a rookie driver and here are some points that may aid your case:

• Let's suppose you were tired from the long hall and just wanted to go to bed ASAP.

• Let's suppose you had an EZ-PASS and didn't have to stop at the tunnel entrance
  
  
• Let's suppose that none of the many camouflaged, AK-47 carrying patrollers stopped you.

• Let's say it was really dark in the tunnel and some of the lights were not working.
  
  
• Let's suppose you're dyslecic and had trouble reading the height limit signs.

• Let's suppose you're deaf and didn't hear the initial scrapings on the rig's roof or the police sirens.
  
  
• Let's suppose you suffer from Lambert-Eaton myasthenic syndrome and didn't feel the roof of your tractor-trailer peeling off like a can of sardines.
  

Most people wouldn't give you the benefit of the doubt. Most people would be quick to judge this case........

But you know what, it's not really your fault. I completely blame the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the tunnel. Their spokesman, Steve Coleman, shared with me the "minor" precautions the tunnel makes to avoid such accidents.

First, according to Steve, when one enters the toll plaza, an electronic sensor is tripped, several stoplights are activated and police officers at the plaza use a loudspeaker to order the driver to stop. Port Authority was responsible for stopping your right there! Perhaps.......the sensors were broken or faulty.

Getting past that, there are flashing signs and a loudspeaker in New Jersey that continues go off. Duh............it was dark, you couldn't see AND you're deaf. How was that suppose to prevent this accident from occurring? Again, Port Authority is responsible for making the tunnel handicap friendly.

According to Steve, at least once a week a truck is stopped. And on the rare occasions when trucks have entered and scraped the tunnel’s ceiling, drivers have invariably stopped, and the police employ a "height-reducing technique" of letting air out of the trucks’ tires so they could be backed out. (Since when did common sense become a "technique".) Again, not your fault. Where were the police when you needed to let the air out of your tires?

Now you're faced with nine misdemeanor moving violations, including reckless driving, failure to obey a traffic signal and failure to obey an officer’s command. I'm not a lawyer, but we've just proven you're innocent and you now have all the ammunition you need to beat the case.

I wish you the best of luck explaining this to your boss (and then the judge). If there are any readers out there that my be able to provide more explanations to help Gilberto's case, please post your thoughts below.

In the interim, Gilberto is currently applying for his Private Pilot's License and NEEDS SOME SUPPORT!

You Make Me Better

Make Me Better Lyrics